the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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