I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
