She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
