I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
