1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
