Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
