i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
