Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
