I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize