You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
