I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize