About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
