so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
