Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my shit smells like andre
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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