Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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