you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
