watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
