they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
