After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
