and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize