maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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