your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
