he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
