remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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