Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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