I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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