OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
