whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
His nipple licking is glorious
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