it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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