Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
