Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
