I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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