he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
