My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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