so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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