the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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