Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
