It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
