Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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