i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize