I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
