Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
