He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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