I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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