i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
