My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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