this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
tell me about the eggs
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