i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
