she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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