If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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