there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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