I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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