I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
