OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
