Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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