Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I faked an abortion last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
