Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
