Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have aggressive nipples.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I touched a dick in church today
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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