i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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