Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
