3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
