I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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