A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
