if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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