You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You need a sexual gate keeper
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize