i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
