He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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