Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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